I had a conversation about gratitude and meditation recently with a friend who is a therapist and meditation teacher. She brought up an excellent point.
She talked about the shame people can feel when they aren’t able to feel grateful or aren’t able practice a meditation the way they believe they are “supposed to.” She said something along the lines of, “we could all benefit from more allowing.”
Allowing whatever experience you have to be okay. Allowing whatever experience anyone else has to be okay.
That really resonated with me.
Sometimes, when you’re in the depths of your pain or suffering, trying to feel grateful just doesn’t feel authentic. That’s okay.
Sometimes, when you try to practice a loving kindness meditation, you might not be able to feel loving kindness for yourself, or you might not able to feel loving kindness for others. That’s okay.
You’re not doing anything wrong. Your experience is real for you right now, and it’s valid.
There’s no one “right” way to do these things. They’re all just a practice.
You are okay. Right now. Exactly as you are.
You have worth. You have value.
We get so many messages about how we are not okay. Media is particularly full of these messages. It’s how things are sold to us.
One of my goals as a therapist is to challenge the idea that you are not okay.
Therapy has traditionally been oriented around identifying your symptoms, giving you a diagnosis, and working toward removing those symptoms or improving how you cope with them.
I take a different approach.
I see you as so much more than your symptoms. You are a living, breathing person with a full range of experiences. Even if you struggle with something that many others also struggle with, like anxiety or depression, there are nuances to how this shows up for you. A diagnosis doesn’t define you. Your symptoms are just one piece of the puzzle.
I want to know the whole you. I want to know about what you do to take care of your body, your soul, and your mental wellbeing. I want to know about the quality of your relationships. I want to know what makes you feel alive, what lifts you up. I want to know where you shine, where you feel your most authentic and most confident.
It’s okay to want to grow or change. Just know you are already okay, valuable, and worthy, just as you are.